Smooth Plastic

My awareness of the sound starts as a pressure at the back of my head
In the place where my skull meets my neck
In just a few short moments though I feel it move to the front
Now it is a sharp, headache-like pressure right behind my forehead and eyes
I'm not awake enough to form a full thought yet
All I can feel is a sickly mental groan as I reach blindly with one arm
My fingers fumble over smooth plastic
I trace the three large, rectangular buttons
Searching for the middle one
I press with my index and there is a loud click
A few more minutes of peace
I roll over on my other side to get more comfortable
Oh no...
Now it will take even more effort to press the button next time
But I'm too tired to move again
My limbs seem to sink into the mattress and covers
Though I remember tossing and turning and waking up several times last night
Every inch of the bed seems perfectly comfortable now
Just when I have to leave it
The sound goes off again
This time it goes straight to the painful headache pressure
I must have dozed because it seemed way too fast
I moan and roll over again
The movement seems to take more effort than it should
I fumble for the small switch
Click
I move to lay on my back
It takes me nearly a whole minute just to open my eyes
And once I do they fall shut again almost immediately
When I force them open again there is nothing to see but the boring, white ceiling
Maybe I should put a poster there to make it a little more interesting
One with dark colors
Even with the limited light in the room the white seems blinding
I force myself to blink quickly
So that gravity will not get a hold on my eyelids again
I take a deep breath of cool air to expand my chest fully
And to clear out any sleepy dust or cobwebs that sleep has accumulated
I stretch my arms towards the ceiling and rotate my hands at the wrists
They flop back down by my sides like lifeless fish
I arch my back slightly as I straighten my legs and point my toes
I tighten my muscles in a refreshing stretch
When I release them I feel my blood flow a bit faster
And my body feels more awake
Even if my mind doesn't
I roll to my side in preparation for getting up
I reward myself for being so productive with a few seconds rest
A few seconds turn into a few minutes
Then a few more
Finally I sigh and jerk myself into a sitting position before I can think about it
I force myself let my mind drift and my body to go into auto-pilot mode
This way my mind stays half asleep but I'm still moving
The few times I have to sharpen my mind to actually think through a question or problem
My mind takes twice as long and I have to go over the information twice
All the colors seem very muted
A coat that was a vivid red yesterday now looks more like a dusty maroon
At one point I drop one of my socks
It seems like such an effort to bend down and retrieve it
Standing again makes my tired head spin
There is pressure in my ears and I yawn to relieve it
My jaw pops slightly
I finish my morning preparations a few minutes early
I find myself standing aimlessly in the middle of the room
I can't quite remember how I got there
Did I brush my teeth?
I taste mint, so I must have
Dressed...check
Shoes...check
Hair brushed...check
Jacket on...check
Backpack...check
Keys in pocket...check
Cell phone...check
Water bottle...check
I have three minutes until I have to leave
I look at my chair
There's enough time to sit down
But if I do...it'll be even harder to get up
Maybe I should just leave now
I don't want to though
I end up standing sluggishly in the middle of the room until the clock changes
Then I mentally give myself a shove to get going
I forget to be careful with the door as I leave
The loud bang brings me fully awake for a moment
But only for a moment...


By Darlee Hart